Thoughts from a room with no windows

2008-01-05T03:29:00.000-05:00

Never thought these two would have been any trouble.

As Dave Chapelle might say, what's really sad is that they're doing it all for us.

2008-01-04T20:29:00.000-05:00

OH WHAT A NIGHT

Thursday night might have been crazy in Iowa, but it was a wild one on both Coasts as well. Britney lost her kids and we did a session with Get Help - coincidence? Well, yeah, but it's still fun to compare the relative time lines of Britney's night and ours. I didn't adjust for the time difference between New York and LA 'cause then it doesn't work, and time is relative anyhow.

6:30 p.m.: Tony has arrived at Smoke and Mirrors (Mike is already present). We all discuss how cold it is outside. In Los Angeles it's 75 and sunny.

7 p.m.: Britney's scheduled time to hand over custody of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 15 months, to Kevin Federline's bodyguard. In Brooklyn, we are scheduled to to remove 8 bars from the introduction to "Stomach."

7:02 p.m. K-Fed's bodyguard attempts to remove the children. Chris attempts to remove 8 bars from the introduction to "Stomach."

7:11 p.m.: Chris attempts to remove 8 bars from the introduction to "Stomach."

7:12 p.m.: Spears refuses to release her babies to Federline's muscle. Mike asks Chris why he doesn't try the "Stomach" edit on the downbeat; Chris has no response.

8:30 p.m.: Police arrive at Spears' home after being called about a "custodial dispute." In Brooklyn, the outside temperature has dropped to 16 degrees, but the Accuweather Real Feel Temperature is more like 6.

8:35 p.m. Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, arrives at Spears' crib. At precisely the same time, I leave the studio on a rare Beer and Cigarettes run. Tony pays.

8:36 p.m.: Damn! It's f'ng cold.

8:42 p.m.: I return with 8 beers, 2 malt beverages, and a pack of Marlboro Lights. The change is 75 cents, which I forget to give Tony.

8:43 - 9:00 pm - presumably, Federline's lawyer tries to get his client's Babymama to "do this the easy way." At this point she has the cops, K-Fed's goon and lawyer, and half of the Beverly Hills Fuzz at her house. We've moved on to "Life is Full of Surprises."

9:01 p.m.: We all agree that Tony's vocals sound "great." It occurs to me that we should use Take 1 on Part 2 and Take 2 on Part 1.

9:02 p.m.: Kaplan leaves Spears' home.

9:03 p.m.: Small Chronic Break (both locations)

9:30 p.m.: Ted draws, then renders, a fade between two bits of Mike's vocal on "Town Fires." No one present can "hear the edit," which is good. In Los Angeles the media has mobilized and the Spears Compound is under tight surveillance.

10:08 p.m.: News helicopters hover over Spears' property. Officer Jason Lee of the Los Angeles Police Department observes that she appears to be under the influence of an "unknown substance." You can write your own joke for this one.

10:50 p.m.: The fire department arrives at Spear's hideaway. We prop open the door to the hallway to "get some air."

11:04 p.m.: I tell Buck we need to "call his mother" (Annie). We head toward the back alley in search of a cellphone signal.

11:05 p.m.: Paramedics take a gurney and a backboard into Spears' home. Buck takes Suspicious Chicken to the back alley and refuses to bring it back in.

11:06 p.m.: CBS reports a mental evaluator is also called to Brit's abode. "Thoughts from a room with no windows" reports nothing.

11:25 p.m.: An ambulance pulls into Spears' driveway, parking behind her car. In Brooklyn, the studios alcohol reserves are running low.

11:26 p.m.: We decide to "wrap it up."

11:50 p.m.: An ambulance carrying Spears and other emergency vehicles leave the scene en route to Cedars Sinai Hospital; it's reported that Sean Preston and Jayden James are also taken in for evaluation. Tony and Mike exit 17 Moultrie Street and (presumably) are taken home in an ambulance, other emergency vehicle, or public transportation.

2008-01-02T13:06:00.001-05:00

VIDEO PICK OF THE WEEK, PART ONE : JED'S OTHER POEM

Here's something everyone should see.

Mikedot and I are deep in a mutual ass kissing fest, conducted entirely over the wire, which is the way I like it. But this isn't just a cheap attempt to win his favor and get the chance to record more of his music. He introduced me to Grandaddy, the band I currently fantasize about fronting, and that's worthy of at least one post.

The great thing about this video, other than the video itself, is that someone made it using the most basic of tools (a 48K Apple II - hell, this post is probably bigger than 48K and only about half as cool). Like a single coil pickup wired straight to a vacuum tube, it's a great example of using minimal technology to delve deep into the heart of the universe. Let the molecules do the work; that's why they're there.

2007-12-31T12:32:00.000-05:00

GAY SEX AT LOS ANGELES ARENA - FANS WATCH AND CHEAR

Here’s some sports news, taken directly from here:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/recap?gid=2007123013

To get to the meat of the story, I made a few edits, all of which are clearly marked. Enjoy!

Boston 110, LA Lakers 91

By KEN PETERS, AP Sports Writer
December 31, 2007
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Wearing short shorts and having Hall of Famer Jerry West in the building … the Los Angeles Lakers revive(d) their storied rivalry with the Boston Celtics…

The Lakers introduced West as their honorary captain before the game, showed highlights from past players … and wore throwback, short shorts for the first half…
Boston coach Doc Rivers enjoyed the big screen video.

"I don't know if it spurred anyone on, but it gave everyone a history lesson in some ways… really cool to watch," he said.

He smiled and added, "I told Kobe, the one thing I know from this point on, our generation had better bodies than their generation."

"I don't know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half," he (Bryant) said with a grin. “…I felt naked.”

There obviously was a lot of emotion during the game…(the refereess) called seven technical fouls at different junctures.. (including) on coach Rivers and the Lakers' Bryant…

(Rivers) said. "… everyone was excited, both the teams and the refs.”

(Lamar) Odom also was called for a flagrant foul late in the game, with Ray Allen drawing his “technical” (quotation marks added) on the same play (emphasis added).

Allen said of that brief tangle, " I got the rebound and he tackled me.”

(ed. Note – Although thousands of fans cheered as they watched, Allen appears to be denying that he enjoyed the “brief tangle”, implying that he and Odom may not play for the same team.)

He said, “I know this is Sunday, but this is the wrong field."

2007-12-31T03:48:00.000-05:00

READ IT AGAIN

A quick lesson in determining if a band is worth its salt: do they know where they fit? If they do, they're worth nothing. If they do what they do and let the listeners and critics catch up, then they're worthy. They're worthy of salt.

- Mike Ingenthron, Stinkrock

2007-12-28T12:18:00.000-05:00

HOUSE OF BLONDES IN THE HOUSE

In just a few hours we'll begin doing our part to help bring the second House of Blondes record to fruition.

You know the story - band finishes project and either drifts away or rides the wave of inspiration to create. Fortunately, it appears that the latter has happened to John Blonde and his House.

John and fellow Blonde Paul Reyes have been writing feverishly, using Garageband I believe (more about that little program in another post) and making some pretty good "demos". These days a demo can be a record, and with Garageband in the hands of writers, arrangers, and musicians, there can be a surprising amount of depth in a recording made primarily to write. I have no doubt tracks that John and Paul have already created will find their way into the new record. It's much like what Blonde Mike I. has been doing with His Friend Tony in their band Get Help.

A very productive way to produce, no question.

I'm excited about the new project, at least partly because John seems so excited. Every collaborative effort deserves someone to keep the dream moving forward, and John's the perfect person to play this role. After all, he created the part.

That he would ask us to be involved with the next stage in the Ascent of the House of Blondes is flattering, to say the least.

2007-12-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

WHY I LIKE GET HELP

"I suggest as a solution what has worked so well in nearly every other aspect of my life, both personal and professional: more reverb."

-Tony from Get Help, suggesting a way to improve a stubborn mix

2007-12-18T11:45:00.000-05:00

ENHANCEMENT

In light of the Mitchell report, I'd like to weigh in on the issue of performance enhancing drugs.

To me, the term "performance enhancing drug" is redundant (except for when it's an oxymoron). You could look at any drug as being performance enhancing; without this pill to lower my blood pressure I'd die, which would affect my performance. I'm a professional but not that professional.

Having a teammate/roadie inject something into your buttocks to help you throw that 98mph fastball/play those 32nd notes is simply a natural consequence of a world that values fastballs/32nd notes. Of course, if we were happy with quarter notes we'd simply use a different type of enhancement. There's a reason the Velvet Underground did speed while the Floyd did... other things.

Caffeine enhances my performance until the Effexor kicks in.

The real question should be who's using drugs to enhance their appreciation of the performance. In other words, without beer, would anyone sit through an entire football game?

2007-12-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight, Strikes Again!

This record (working title "Cure All") is rapidly reaching the finish line. Any day now we're going to look around at each other ("we" being me and whoever still has any hearing left) and say "Sheeet, that's it, eh?" or something like that.

At that point I hope they duplicate it and pass it out. If they don't I will. I've said it before: the reason I really do all this recording is to receive the finished record*, preferably in shrinkwrap, when all is said and done. That's the real payment. Fuck iTunes or CDBaby, I want Product with a big "P". I want to try and decipher the average publishing credit or figure out why I wasn't listed as "Aural Sherpa". I want something to put on the shelf next to the Jerk Alert CD. This is the hardest part of the process, releasing the damn thing. What good is having a baby if you aren't going to show it off at the ice cream social?

I'll say this - musicians have become experts at barcodes. They might spell the name of the studio wrong, they may forget just who did that tambourine overdub, they may even skimp on the shrinkwrap, but they've figured out how to get that barcode on the back of the jewel case (or, increasingly, digipack). Why does The Beast get such a good credit? What did the Dark One ever do for rock and roll?

Oh, that's right. Sorry.

* the term "record" is here used to indicate both compact discs and traditional "vinyl" records. If your music exists solely on the iTunes Music Store, you have not made a "record". You've made a "recording". Any fool with a microphone can make a recording. Make a record.

2007-12-16T23:35:00.000-05:00

...AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Stinkrock says kind words. The Misanthrope as well.

In the studio there is no fear. Fear is for the weekly paycheck, the land of the boss, the subway, the so called real world. No fear is for the perpetual dreamers, procrastinators, depressives. We say we do it for love, or because we're obsessed, or because there's nothing we'd rather do. Sometimes that's true, but the rent lives firmly in Fearville.

I didn't go to business school. I have no right touching any form of currency. It's like a carberator - let a professional handle it.

Wanted - business partners or advisors.

2007-12-11T13:54:00.000-05:00

WHAT HAPPENED WAS

If you take a look at my recent posts you may notice that they've been a bit infrequent. Hmmm.

Let's see... there I am slamming Def Leppard in late May 2006. A few posts from July 2006, as we prepared to move Smoke and Mirrors Studio to... well....

Ah, yes. There's the disconnect.

I left my last day job at the end of May in '06, fully prepared to go back to music full time. I had new business cards, we were all nutty with MySpace, I had learned so much since the last time I tried to make Smoke and Mirrors a "business". I was very well prepared to do a lot of work and actually make enough to cover the rent and go out to see a movie once in a while. I was very optimistic.

A week later it all caved in. We were told that, after 5 years, we had to be out of the building that housed Smoke and Mirrors by August 1st. Our "landlord," who actually held the lease on the floor we occupied, finally decided to tell us that said lease was up. Suddenly my brand new business cards were obsolete. The internet was disconnected sometime after July 25, 2006. (The Silverface Deluxe Reverb still hasn't been fixed, if you're wondering.)

I was adamant about not following our "landlord" to the new space he was building. After 5 years of broken promises I vowed to move on. And move on we did.

It was then that we met Randy Rollner, diminutive bassist in Blood Orange, owner of Rollner Architecture Metals, and liar extraordinaire. Randy had a lease on a small building (really a big finished garage) about 2 blocks from my apartment. Randy told us he was 2 years into a 10 year lease and wanted to rent the extra 2 spaces in his buildings to studios. Although the bad vibes flowed from him freely, we were desperate. We gave him a security deposit and moved during the first weekend of August 2006 during a killer heat wave.

We began massive construction of the new studio. Little Randy rehearsed with his terrible band right next door to us and continued to amaze with his compete lack of social skills. Why do tiny bassists have to have such big amps? Are we making up for something here?

Six weeks in, Ted and our friend/carpenter John arrived at the space around noon to find the City Marshall's office locking up the building. They'd gone in with cops and chainsaws, opened all the rooms, inventoried (some of) the gear, and put on a fresh new padlock. In short (pardon the pun), we found out that Randy had been in the midst of eviction by his landlords, whose son Michael originally rented the space to Randy. You may remember Michael from this little piece of news. Randy had happily taken our cash, knowing full well that his time was nearly up.

To say I was shocked is an understatement; catatonic is probably a more accurate word. I'd left about 2am the night before the eviction, having just played the last track I'd ever record using my beloved Juno 106. When Randy finally started answering our frantic phone calls a few days later, he said his lawyer was "working on it", and then was unreachable for weeks at a time.

Every bit of music stored on our computer, all of our gear, everything was in that room. We were actively working on projects for clients. We didn't even have the receipts for the equipment and building supplies; they were in the room. We started waiting, got a lawyer, gathered pictures and affidavits. After so many years of being in a studio just about every day, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Six weeks later the building was opened on an order from the court. We got back in, only to find that someone had stolen the Juno, my digital camera, my watch, $900 in cash for rent, nearly all of John's and our tools, and a crappy old worthless lamp. They didn't take the computer, thank God.

That was it for me. I've never been the same.

The day we got the gear back we moved it into our old landlord's new space, and now over a year later the same broken promises (The sound isolation between the rooms will be amazing! It'll be a professional music space! The toilets will actually flush!) float around our heads like so much stale cigarette smoke. Only now the rent is far more expensive, I get no cellphone reception, the location is a bit less than ideal, and the internet connection involves cans and a piece of string.

Still, I'm not really bitter. At some point during that long summer of 2006, waiting to hear any news about our studio, I came to accept that everything might well be gone. I found I could deal with that. I truly let it go during a late night walk around the neighborhood (I'd pass by the building every day, unable to believe that everything was just a few yards away but completely unreachable). It was a true liberation.

As far as Randy goes, I think the fact that he misspelled "Dumber" on his MySpace page pretty much says it all.

2007-05-21T05:12:00.000-04:00

NO WAY

There's no way I'm gonna let go
There's no way
Because it's my show
I'm hangin' on for a little while
I won't go down easy
That's not my style

I'm all tied up, tied up in a knot
And I can't decide
Just what it is I've got
Did I get out of touch?
Did I lose my way?
I've not forgot
No, not a single day

(David Gilmour)

2006-07-25T23:32:00.000-04:00

PROCRASTINATION NATION

Whilst packing this past Saturday, I tried (unsuccessfully) to get my old Silverface Deluxe Reverb working. It needs to go to "The Shop".

The Silverface came from Lawrence, Kansas, in the mail, about 7 or 8 years ago. It's the best sounding amp I've ever owned (or, indeed ever played) and soon it will be back in working order, at which time all will be right with the world.

I also own a '65 Blackface Deluxe Reverb Reissue, which isn't quite as good. I've always felt there was something a little wonky about it so I don't use it much. But Saturday I was in a Deluxe Reverb mood so I put its tubes back in and cranked it up. Tremolo (incorrectly called "Vibrato" on Fender amps) is the Greatest Guitar Effect Ever, no question, no debate.

I tremoloed for a while and starting doing a simple little progression over and over. Of course I asked Ted to record it. We figured out the tempo I was tremming at, got about a minute of the riff, and made a 16 bar loop. Within another half hour or so we had a few drum loops to match... recorded with the 2 overhead mics and EQ'ed just so.

The rest went really quickly - by far the most rewarding way to write and record, for me. Sometimes Ted and I get into this kind of zone and just hold on for dear life.

Last night I finished the lyrics and vocals and put on a guitar solo (the old blonde Tele - this recording is the wonky gear special). Today I did a quick mix.

Played it for George who said "It's awesome. Now get all this shit packed up!"

You can download an m4a from the link below thanks Mike!). If you can't play an m4a (aka an AAC) then, well, you should join us in the 21st Century.

Enjoy!

Let Go

2006-07-24T03:29:00.000-04:00

GOOD SOUND, PART ONE

Tips for using microphones*

- point the microphone at what you want to hear
- point the microphone away from what you don't want to hear
- don't place the microphone near reflective surfaces
- use as few microphones as possible

* adapted from Model SM57 User Guide (Shure Incorporated)

2006-07-08T23:43:00.000-04:00

WHERE'S CHRISPY Part One

Saturday, July 8, 1:58 AM - Smoke and Mirrors - "Ted Record" session - 40 Deuce

Editing drums for "40 Deuce," a blues bit about Times Square written by Chan Chandler. It has lyrics about dime bags, girlie shows, and police brutality, so I guess it's a bit nostalgic. In numerous altered states I've demanded it be included on the "Ted Record", mostly because of the vocal. Trouble is, we recorded the vocal - and the guitars, bass, and keyboards - to an out of time drum loop.

We've all agreed the vocal performance can never be redone.

We'd also like to keep the guitars, mostly out of spite.

Anyhow, tonight I played some new drums, listening to just the original click and the vocal. Now I'm assembling and trying to get the guitarist, singer, keyboardist, and drummer on the same page, or at least in the same room.

Here's a screenshot of the song in Digital Performer's edit window. There's a guitar track partly visible at the top. Below are the kick drum, snare, and overhead mics. Each vertical line represents an edit; each little "slice" is a bit of my drum performance.

The big stretch that's intact is the chorus. I played that fucker all the way through, asshole.

Times Square used to be shady and dirty. Now it's clean, shiny, and fake, just like my drums.

2006-06-01T21:02:00.000-04:00

Here's The Smoke and Mirrors Calendar.

Click it.

2006-05-26T09:51:00.000-04:00

HMMMM...

"Def Leppard has been putting out hit hard-rocking records for almost 30 years. That amazing track record gives them the much-deserved license to get creative every once in a while."
(Doug Miller / DefLeppard.com, referring to DL's new record of 70's cover songs)

I wonder if that's what he really meant to say.

2006-05-23T20:40:00.000-04:00

READ THIS

Go here.

Powered by Evan from Geek Farm.

2006-05-23T16:21:00.000-04:00

WHOAH

This dude was wasted.

What's the problem? He's a Lithuanian, for God's sake. He's supposed to be this drunk.

2006-05-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

FUN WITH SCHEDULING

It just doesn't get any cooler than Apple.

I've signed up for a free trial of .mac, Apple's online storage and publishing service. Depending on how the trial run goes, I might lay some money down.

One of the cool things we can do is publish our calendar, through iCal, onto the web. It can be set to publish manually or automatically, and the online version can be "synched" to the calendar at the studio so if we make changes - or if a client makes changes - the calendars will all update.

Check it out.

It's funny because we generally don't list times on our iCal, so it looks like most sessions should be starting at 11pm. Well, that's about right.

The idea here is for the calendar to be available to anyone looking for time. They simply go to this page, see what's available, and book or hold time if they want. I don't know how far to go with allowing users to make modifications - for now it'll just show what's booked and what's open.

Sure beats trying to keep up with email threads about sessions...

2006-05-18T12:16:00.000-04:00

PODCAST!!

It's up!! It's up!!

It's up!!

The new Smoke and Mirrors Podcast, "Mayhappening", is up at HUEZINE.

Go here, and click on the "Podcasts" link on the left hand side of the screen. Then prepare to have your mind blown.

Thank you, Hue. Again, you are the man.

2006-05-18T11:59:00.000-04:00

SICK OF IT

I'm so mad I could spit.

This tells the whole story.

I think I have to stop reading blogs. They make me angry and sad.

2006-05-17T13:09:00.000-04:00

A DRUG WAR

Are we becoming a nation of elderly zombies?

It seems like we may be headed there. More and more elderly people are becoming addicted to drugs - most of them prescription drugs or good old fashioned alcohol.

As the boomers continue to age, it's going to get worse and worse. And with the way drugs are prescribed to our kids, by the time they get to be senior citizens they'll be well primed, with an entire lifetime of drug use behind them.

The wonderful part of the whole thing is that many of the elderly are not able to afford these prescriptions, so we're creating a taxpayer subsidized drug addicted generation, with all of the money going to the Big Pharmaceuticals.

This is one reason I don't believe in legalizing "recreational" drugs like marijuana or cocaine. Because, ultimately, I don't think it will reduce addiction (although decriminalizing it would certainly reduce crime - in much the same way that raising the speed limit to 65 reduces speeding). I think it'll just make more money for the Big Guys, and leave more people strung out. Then we can tax them all to hell (like we do with cigarettes) and take what little they have left.

Ah, well, that's just business, and good business = making money. Right?

2006-05-16T11:12:00.000-04:00

I'M WITH NERDY

Thanks to Amy's Robot, we get a link to this great story about the dorkiest after prom party ever...

"Our whole group we rode in the limo with didn't want to come," said Alicia Charette, 14, who attended with her prom date, Zach Brower, 16. "We were the only ones that did."

At the party, a D.J. from a popular local radio station spun oldies like "Axel F" and "Build Me Up Buttercup."

2006-05-15T14:52:00.000-04:00

NOW WE TRY TO GET FRIENDS.

2006-05-15T14:29:00.000-04:00

A GOOD CAUSE

Send your balls to Iraq.

2006-05-12T13:24:00.000-04:00

NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

I've spent some time this week doing my two most favorite things - mixing and cleaning. Now that the 5 song Strikes Again! demo is finished (please check the overhead bins for your personal belongings and thanks for flying with Smoke and Mirrors) I've turned my obsessive-compulsive side to Ted's Record and a track by Nadine Miller called "Scientific True Love" (one of my favorite songs of all time).

So I've got the mixing covered. Nadine comes in for two nights next week to do some more work on this and some other tunes, and Ted continues to work on The Ted Record, which I am not producing. Well, maybe a little bit.

I also pulled apart a big section of the studio and did some substantial cleaning and rewiring. Basically, the cabling behind the rack and between the rack and the mixer and the rest of the studio was a disaster, an unholy jumble of audio and electric wires, USB and MIDI cables, and God knows what else. I finally got down and dirty and unplugged massive amounts of shit (it's amazing how many extra cables you end up finding that way), re-ran the audio and electric (so as to minimize any interaction between the two), and bundled that shit up. So much cleaner, and it should sound better too.

Honest work like this makes me feel good.

2006-05-10T17:28:00.000-04:00

IF YOU'VE GOT THE TIME...

Here's a cool site.

Now you never have to ask me what time it is again.

Enjoy.

2006-05-10T11:40:00.000-04:00

WHO NEEDS INFORMATION?

"Home" is one of my favorite Roger Waters songs. I think it's also one of his favorites. From the "Radio K.A.O.S" record... I even love the drum machine.

The choruses always give me chills:

When they overrun the defences
A minor invasion put down to expenses
Will you go down to the airport lounge?
Will you accept your second class status?
A nation of waitresses and waiters
Will you mix their martinis?
Will you stand still for it?
Or will you take to the hills?

When the cowboys and Arabs draw down
On each other at noon
In the cool dusty air of the city boardroom
Will you stand by a passive spectator
Of the market dictators?
Will you discreetly withdraw
With your ear pressed to the boardroom door?
Will you hear when the lion within you roars?
Will you take to the hills?"

Roger will be touring the US in the fall. Tickets for his shows at Madison Square Garden go on sale this Monday. Man, I could have seen both Gilmour and Waters in the same year... ah well, maybe just Rog.

He'll be joined by:

Andy Fairweather Low – Guitar
Snowy White – Guitar
Dave Kilminster – Guitar and Vocals
Graham Broad - Drums
Jon Carin – Keyboards
Harry Waters – Hammond
Ian Ritchie - Saxophone
Katie Kissoon, PP Arnold and Carol Kenyon – Background Vocals

Not too shabby. Andy and Snowy definitely know the tunes, as does Jon Carin (who's been playing with both Pink Floyd and Roger for some twenty years... yes, twenty years). Harry Waters is Roger's son, who appeared as one of the children in Radio K.A.O.S. back in '87. Good stuff.

More Roger, from "Four Minutes", another chill inducing track from K.A.O.S.:

After a near miss on a plane
You swear you'll never fly again
After the first kiss when you make up
You swear you'll never break up again...
And when you've just run a red light
Sit shaking under the street light
You swear to yourself you'll never drink and drive again
Sometimes I feel like going home
(You swear you'll never let things go by again)
Sometimes I miss the rain and snow
(And you'll never toe the party line again)
And when the east wind blows
Sometimes I feel like going home...

2006-05-09T15:45:00.000-04:00

BLAINE BLAH BLAH BLAINE BLAH YAWN

Jeez, who cares?

This guy is so desperate for attention, he'd... well... I can't think of anything more stupid than the stupid stuff he's already done.

Seriously, enough already.

2006-05-08T15:45:00.001-04:00

I JUST FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

My God, I'm buying this for the Misanthrope,

this for Jackson,

this for Tony Alva,

and of course this for myself.

2006-05-08T11:08:00.000-04:00

THIS JUST IN

Keith Richards gets head surgery.

It's about time!

Oh wait, this was because of his accident. Sorry.

2006-05-05T13:42:00.000-04:00

US AND THEM

Well, Bob Lefsetz's rant on Flea's email to the Chili Pepper's fans has certainly got us talking.

I made my (long winded) point over at AVC, but last night I also sent this message to Ted and Fred, and I thought I'd put it here too...

"I hope Bob's rant isn't the summation of that side of the debate, because it's pretty thin. He makes no real point. I guess ultimately it'll be decided in the court of capitalism, but people forget that we're talking about art as well.

Well, sometimes it's art. I'd say for the Chili's it is. And I'm not really a huge fan.

If the people want an easy way to get their music digitally, that's fine. The system is not perfect yet, but that doesn't make it OK to attack an artist you supposedly like for having an opinion on something that's he's more than entitled to have an opinion on. Flea can say whatever he wants about his music and how its distributed, just like any individual, or corporation, or nation, or artist has a right to decide how to present themselves to the world.

To say "legalize the trading and shut up"... Flea won't make any laws. Flea was a musician before the Chili's and will be one after. Bob doesn't get that the music he likes is powerful because it exists on a level well beyond commercial concerns or the technology used to consume it. Businessmen have tried to monetize it, which has no real connection to the experience of making a piece of music.

There are thousands of poor musicians for every Flea. It has nothing to do with money for them.

You'll never TRULY monetize the music. You can't. It's apples and oranges.

The Chili's make music that touches poeple because they give their lives to it. When all is said and done, they have the right to decide how to give it to the world.

It's not tied to to record sales. It doesn't matter if "people will do it anyway".

The fans do not own the artist. His destiny is not controlled by the fans, contrary to Bob's opinion. Flea has an essentially religious point of view when it comes to his music. Bob doesn't understand this. If he were really a fan, he would. Flea's certainly talked about it enough."

2006-05-04T22:25:00.000-04:00

THURSDAY, THAT'S MY FUN DAY

I'm blogging, Strikes Again! is eating at a restaurant somewhere on Grand St, I think.

Fucking great band, fucking great guys, fucking great show.

I saw DFactor and Anonymous, met Tony from the Beatings, and talked Strikes!'s (check out that punctuation, bitch) collective ear off with thoughts about EQ in a live setting.

It was... a blast. The best sound is often right at the front of the stage, where you hear the band, instead of the sound guy's hangover.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Roughs Kill Me

I also received the roughs of "The Robots Kill Everyone" from George of Via Skyway. The Misanthrope is right; it sounds like a record. It'll sound like an immense chunk of dark beauty when it's done. All of the basic parts are represented in the roughs but will eventually be played by a cast of thousands. I'm pruod of George and how focused he's been.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to hear Mike's Replacements-Like records. John VA tells me Mike's made two.

There's so mcuh I don't know about these people I worship with. I say "worship" because music is sacred, and music is sound, and listening to sound is communion.

2006-05-03T17:28:00.000-04:00

WHOAH

Do you like to fly?

Here's something you might enjoy - some pictures of and comments on the old Hong Kong airport.

You'd approach by flying through downtown... that's right, through downtown. From the hi rise buildings people would look down on the jets as they approached.

Scroll to the bottom to see the actual pictures, or take a look here.

The airport's been closed since 1998; I flew into the new, much less frightening airport. Ah, well. You can't have it all.

2006-05-02T22:02:00.000-04:00

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

I've been doing... taxonomy.

The "Harmonica Mic" I acquired is a Turner S33D. "Of course it is," you say.

These old guys require a mic cable that screws on, kind of like a coax. Available on eBay, and as soon as I get a darned eBay account there'll be one on its way to Brooklyn.

The headphones are AKG K140's. I'm sure you'll all sleep better knowing that. Made in Austria, like our landlord.

I've also been doing... research.

The Bontempi air organ sounds like a melodica because that's basically what it is, except that instead of Mikedot it has an electric fan. Like any free reed aerophone, it is tuned by altering the size of the reeds. I need to buy a file.

The Tascam 133 is still a Tascam 133. Hasn't been plugged in yet, but man it fills up some rack space.

The guitar pedal is just a switch (oh yeah, THAT's why there's only one jack). I'll let you know if it switches anything.

2006-05-02T15:47:00.000-04:00

BACK UP EARLY AND OFTEN

I can't say it enough. Back up your data.

I say it to every client that walks in the door. I say it over and over and over. And, to date, only a handful have taken backups of their projects. I try to maintain backups for as long as I can, but we simply do not have the space (or the budget) to hold onto 2 copies of everything. We don't even have the space to hold onto 1 copy after a certain period of time.

If you spend several hundred (or thousand) dollars recording your audio, how can it not be worth it to get a hard drive or CDR's (or even your iPod) and take a backup?

As some of you know, one of our hard drives was dropped a while back (not by me or Ted) and became unreadable. This was a 200 gig drive.

It's taken months and months for a data recovery firm to even get a list of files from the drive... but they finally did, which they sent to Tony Alva, and which is some 900 pages long.

Total cost to recover the data... around $2000. That's to get the data onto another hard drive. We have no guarantee it will be usable.

Some (much) of this is client data. I know for a fact there is no backup. Is it the studio's responsiblity to fork over two grand to get this precious music back?

How precious is it if the client didn't see fit to take a copy?

That $2000 could go to pay rent (oh yeah, it's the 2nd. Rent's due. Anyone? Anyone?) or to buy new preamps or an air purifier or any number of things that would make the studio better for our clients. I don't want to pay for this, and even if I end up not, I don't want my partners to have to. We've got bills to pay.

I'll say it one more time. BACK UP YOUR DATA. Wherever you go, whomever you work with, back it up. Because if it doesn't matter to you, who does it matter to?

2006-05-02T13:24:00.000-04:00

SUNDAY, THAT'S MY FUN DAY

Sunday I happened upon a little stoop sale on Hope Street (home of Smoke and Mirrors).

Turns out that The Guy Who Runs A Studio is closing the place down for a bit (apparently he does this from time to time) and stuff was priced to MOVE.

Here's what I got (would've gotten more if I coulda carried it)....

Tascam 133MKII - Mixdown cassette deck. It's pro! XLR ins and outs. Can synch to video (circa 1985). Will definitely try mixing to this puppy. "Hey man, we mixed our whole record to tape..."

AKG headphones - don't know the model, but they're vintage late 70's/early 80's. Work and sound great.

Unidentified Guitar Pedal - it's kind of metallic brown. No markings. Haven't put a battery in it yet... no idea what it'll do.

A pair of old Telephone Operator headset/microphone combos. OLD SCHOOOL, as in operators with patch cords. Look like they could hook up to my old Lionel electric trains. Whack.

The essential harmonica mic - I don't know the model #, but according to The Guy this is the one the mouth harpists want to see. Some sort of unusual interface for the cable... will have to do research.

And the big score...

Bontempi Electric Air Organ - has a fan, sounds kind of like a melodica, way cool. But it's out of tune. Turns out it's a "free reed" instrument, like a harmonica (or melodica) so one should be able to file the reeds to alter the tuning. This is going to be fun.

Total spent = $35. Like I said, the stuff was priced to move.

2006-05-01T17:03:00.000-04:00

RUSH

"And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up... too many whites are getting away with trafficking in this stuff. The answer to this disparity is not to start letting people out of jail because we're not putting others in jail who are breaking the law. The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river, too."

--Rush Limbaugh, on his TV show (10/5/95)

Fill the cup, buddy.

2006-05-01T13:41:00.000-04:00

SLEEPY

I'm sleepy.

I'm so sleepy I could fall asleep.

2006-04-28T14:57:00.000-04:00

CLEAN AIR ACTION

Until we quit smoking (coming soon) and everyone's allergies go away, we need air purification for the studio.

I've owned the Sharper Image Quadra Thing.

Ripoff.

Impossible to clean (dust would get trapped down in the inside and it would pop and spark). The little things that connect the other thing... anyhow, they broke off while we were cleaning it.

I'm not big on replacing filters all the time, but this may be the way to go. HEPA, anyone?

Here's an interesting idea.

Then you've got particles on your floor, your gear, and yourself, I presume. And the ions - who wants that much negativity in the room? We've plenty, thank you.

Suggestions? Anyone out there cleaned your air lately?

2006-04-27T10:39:00.000-04:00

A BEAUTIFUL STORY

Whilst surfing the net looking for pictures of Cornelius from Planet of the Apes (check the Misanthrope Blog to find out why), I came across this.

Truly uplifting.

2006-04-26T12:35:00.000-04:00

PODCAST

There is a new Podcast (called "Mayhappening") over at the Smoke and Mirrors podblaze page.

For the first time, I join Jackson in the studio to talk about and play some tunes. It was a lot of fun to do. For your reference, the voices were both recorded using our Studio Projects C1's.

As it is Spring, we played some "emerging" music, just breaking out of the coccoon, if you will.

Music by Strikes Again! (I hope that mix of "The Human Cannonball" is OK...), Jackson's Solo Project, the Defense Department Chamber Orchestra (a sneak peek at the Robot record), and Brain Shivers.

It's a 160kbps mp3, optimized for the web by yours truly. Let us know how the quality stacks up.

Please enjoy.

2006-04-25T15:51:00.000-04:00

THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS

Cesar Lopez is a protestor, and a musician.

"When he says we, he means the other 100 or so members of a group calling themselves the Battalion of Immediate Artistic Reaction — musicians and political activists, tired of Colombia's four-decade old war of attrition, committed not only to making music, but also making a point."

Maybe he should send one of his guitars to Neil Young.

2006-04-24T14:34:00.000-04:00

WISH US LUCK

Rob Machold, drummer/biologist, is very good at keeping an eye on Craigslist and forwarding me ads he thinks are interesting.

He sent this one this morning:

We are making a documentary about the world of Star Wars fans and are looking for a band that has written a song about something from the Star Wars universe, to film a performance for the movie. Get in touch if this is you.

Is this us? You better believe it.

Regular readers know that one of the songs The Noodle performed at Tedstock was "Princess of Alderaan", a ditty about Han Solo, Princess Leia, and R2-D2. Originally improvised live in studio a few years back (with Happy Boy), it underwent a facelift for the 'Stock performance and got a second verse.

I've sent the filmmakers emails, links to Mikedot's photos of us performing the tune at the 'Stock, and offered to use my X-Wing and Millenium Falcon toys to liven things up for their film. If you're making a film about Star Wars fans you're probably looking for some nerdiness - I'm confident we can deliver.

Stay tuned.

2006-04-20T16:07:00.000-04:00

PET POST

The Yellow Brooklyn Doodle Dog, Mr. Buck, is under the weather.

He woke us up early this morning to let us know there was a problem. He's a very good boy; when he's not feeling well he jumps on us rather than heading to a corner to relieve whatever it is that's bothering him. There have been a few occasions where he's woken me up by sitting on me - when I subsequently brought him outside all hell broke loose, from his butt, if you know what I mean.

Same thing today, but he woke us up twice. Annie cancelled her appointments for the day and has been at home standing by - apparently he's been out 6 times. That's a lot. But it seems he's getting better.

Buck has a little obsession with eating every morsel he can find when he's outside, and it's led to some problems in the past. He once expelled a sausage wrap (this came out of the front door, not the back door, if you know what I mean, again). Any little chicken bone, piece of pork fried rice, birthday cake (seriously, there was an entire birthday cake in the park near my old apartment) - anything that's available... this dog will take care of it. Something tells me that's what's happened.

Anyhow, I'll keep you all posted re: Buck's poopies.

2006-04-18T11:43:00.000-04:00

SICK

I know, they're not representative of the norm.

Why doesn't someone bomb THESE people?

Message to Fred Phelps - "Fuck you!"

2006-04-17T15:54:00.000-04:00

DARVOCETS 12" - THE FIRST REVIEW

The blog A Blaze in the NJ Sky has a review of the new Darvocets 12".

Read it here.

There's some useful information on where you can get the record - Painkiller, the label that released it, is sold out, but they also have links to other places where it can be bought.

(Hey - what's that Orange Record in the middle of the Painkiller homepage??!!??)

A Blaze in the NJ Sky is a good blog to read if you're into new music - really new, from bands who are certainly not to be found at Virgin or on the iTunes music store. Written by a designer, there's also nice commentary on packaging and design (for those of us who still prefer a physical object to hold in our hands while listening).

2006-04-12T18:14:00.000-04:00

INTERACTIVE ENTERTAINMENT TIME, PART 1

I am in the studio with Ted's keys to the studio. We're working on a record, but the keys only know how to play one thing that they keep calling their "jingle".

My cellphone battery is dead.

How will Ted get in?

Stay tuned!

2006-04-11T14:40:00.000-04:00

HOME, HOME AGAIN

I can see the landing lights.

I believe that within the next week or so we'll have the Strikes Again! demo done. We've got final mixes of 2 out of the 5 songs ("The Human Cannonball" and "Can't Stop Now") and will be tweaking the remaining 3 songs this week.

Thursday night looks like a "Hell Disaster". This one's about how we're in the middle of a Hell Disaster, and it's soft and sweet (if your definition of soft and sweet is loud and nasty).

The remaining two songs - "Ripped Open" and "Cure All" - will have some minor adjustments made by me, sans the band. When a song is really close to being finished, it's often quicker (and more effective) for me just to bring her in alone. I don't know why, but I think it has to do with being able to concentrate solely on the sound, which is hard to do when you're also trying to figure out what the people around you are thinking. Maybe it's also 'cause I can dilly dally around without feeling like I'm wasting someone's money.

I've never been very good at wrapping up projects. When the end is in sight I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where I'm running but not moving... it always seems like there's one more thing I need to do to finish up. Committing to a final mix is never easy, especially when you really like the music you're working on and want to present it the best way possible.

I've tried to explain my views on mixing to various friends and colleagues...

- A mix is not the most important part of a production. The song and the performance are.

- A bad mix can ruin a good song and a good performance.

Damn!

- One mix is as good as any other; it's all subjective.

- A bad mix can ruin a good song and a good performance.

Drat!

- There is no such thing as a perfect mix, only a perfect mix session.

- A bad mix can ruin a good song and a good performance.

Fiddlesticks!

When I'm alone with a mix, when I can actually crawl inside of it and let the sound and the experience wash over me, it's heavenly. When it first starts to work it's transcendent.

Then you listen to it the next day and think "eh... I'm not sure." It'll make you want to hang up your headphones and unplug your monitors forever. Back to the top. Pull the thread, let the sweater unravel, and try again.

There comes a time, for every song, when I admit to myself that I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm bluffing my way through this thing and someone's gonna catch on. "Wait a second, weren't you a bio major?"

But not this time.

2006-04-10T11:01:00.000-04:00

IN THE STUDIO WITH TONY... AND A C1?

You all know I'm a big Dean Wareham fan. I'm also a big fan of the music he and Britta Phillips have been making with Tony Visconti.

Well, they've started work on a second record. Here's a picture of Tony, Dean, Britta, and drummer Matt Johnson in Tony's studio (this and the next photo taken from www.deanandbritta.com):

Here's another picture, this one of Dean doing vocals:

Wait a minute! The shape of that mic is familiar...

Could Tony be using a Studio Projects C1? Or the same mic, manufactured by 797 Audio in China, and sold under any one of a number of other names? I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me. It's a good mic, and Tony's been known to use a variety of both expensive and inexpensive gear over the years.

Tony and I have similar taste in gear (there are 2 C1's at Smoke and Mirrors). He's also a fan of the ART stuff (panned by everyone except knowledgable recording engineers and producers). And his records sound amazing.

2006-04-07T14:57:00.000-04:00

THIS WEEK'S NEW RELEASES

I'll say it again.

One of the most rewarding parts of recording music is when they give me my money.

Kidding. Actually, the most rewarding part is when we get a copy of a record we helped make.

Here's the latest one:

Grand Ultimate - The Sound is God

(I wrote about the sessions for this a while back.)

Grand Ultimate is a Brooklyn based live hip hop act, originally made up of just Curtis and Eddie, who play live instruments (guitars, basses, drums, keyboards), loop bits live, and rap or sing. They've recently started adding additional musicians, but even as just a two piece they're really good.

We recorded two tracks on this - "Jealous Man" (engineered by me and George at Smoke and Mirrors - I don't think the one on their website is the version we did) and "Space For the Time (Live)" (recorded live at M Shanghai Den in Williamsburg with the Smoke and Mirrors Mobile Unit 1).

The record sounds and looks great. I know they're excited, and we're happy to have another sample for the collection.

2006-04-07T13:19:00.000-04:00

A TIME TO REFLECT

At times like this, when we're deep in debate and discussion, it's helpful to remember some of the simple, beautiful things in life.

Like kittens...

...and rainbows.

Mom's apple pie...

...and a squirrel with a machine gun.

I hope this helps.

2006-04-07T12:40:00.000-04:00

WE'RE WAITING ON THE FACTS

Learn more about Scooter Libby and this week's filing.

We'll see what's true and what isn't. It'll certainly be interesting. Libby's accusations seem to make sense. Why would he have leaked info without authorization from his boss? Does anyone really think this happened?

What's not surprising is the lack of outrage by Republicans.

2006-04-07T11:09:00.000-04:00

NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE!

Classy.

Are you kidding me? What were these people "protesting"? He's been indicted. He and his cronies are criminals. Ask the House Ethics Committee.

Like Newt, soon he'll be but a bad memory (although the legacy of his helping GW get into the White House will likely resonate for years as severely botched up foreign relations).

Republicans better watch it. Once again, their boundless arrogance and hypocrisy are starting to alienate the people.

2006-04-06T16:31:00.000-04:00

Discuss.

2006-04-06T15:21:00.000-04:00

MORE ON BRIAN DOYLE, HOMELAND SECURITY SPOKESMAN/PEDOPHILE

He is a hire (not an appointee), and he's apparently a giant idiot as well.

Hired or appointed, this is a black eye for Homeland Security. This guy was in his office, giving out his (government supplied) cellphone number - and office number - on the internet. He even revealed his employer.

How secure is Homeland Security when they can't even monitor what's going on in their own offices?

2006-04-06T12:24:00.000-04:00

APRIL

UPDATE: MY LANGUAGE REGARDING THE POSSIBLE LINK BETWEEN AUTISM AND VACCINATIONS BELOW IS A BIT TOO STRONG. THE RESEARCH IS NOT COMPLETE, AND I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY THAT VACCINATIONS ARE EVIL OR OUTRAGEOUS. WHAT'S OUTRAGEOUS ARE ATTEMPTS TO LIMIT LAWSUITS AGAINST VACCINE-PRODUCING PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES UNDER THE BANNER OF "NATIONAL SECURITY".

It's April, National Autism Awareness Month.

Hue has been posting a lot of information, much of which will be very helpful to people who know, live with, or care for someone who's autistic.

The rate that autism appears to be increasing is shocking. No one knows why it's happening, but it appears to be very real. It seems that, before long, we'll all know someone who's autistic, and the effect on our communities will be impossible to ignore. The earlier we become educated the easier it will be.

There are other issues as well.

This is one of the big ones - Hue has written about it and he's much more level headed about it than I am. I think this is outrageous and evil.

Anyhow, regardless of your politics, take some time this month to learn more about autism. It's all around us, and it's not going away.

2006-04-05T16:36:00.000-04:00

WHY DO I NOT FEEL SAFER?

Homeland Security - keep up the good work!

2006-04-05T16:08:00.000-04:00

PUT A BOW ON IT

Brain Shivers, the record, is done. Fully mixed and mastered. Ready to be delivered to the replication people, who I assume will be Discmakers.

We've compiled the liner notes (simple... classic... elegant...) and our graphic designer/drummer is working on mockups of the artwork.

We'll let you know when it's officially released. There's an excellent chance we'll have some sort of party. Equally likely - we'll end up sitting around the studio and getting drunk.

2006-04-05T11:11:00.000-04:00

HOUSE IN DA BROOKLYN

Where's Jackson?

I'll tell you where he is. He's in Brooklyn.

Yes, Ted is now an official resident of the greatest Borough in the World. I know he'll want to write all about it on his blog, so I won't give away the ending.

Oh, shit. I already did.

(Related note - the Blogger spell checker does not recognize the word "blog")

2006-04-04T10:53:00.000-04:00

MAXXCOOL

Waves has created some of the best signal processors in the business. They aren't cheap (why should they be?) and you get what you pay for.

One of the algorithms they've developed is Maxxbass, a psychoacoustic processor that increases the perceived amount of bass in an audio signal without actually adding any low end. It's based on the concept of the missing fundamental, a quirk of the human ear/brain that causes the listener to perceive notes that are non-existent when harmonics related to the note are present in a signal. Maxxbass adds a carefully calculated series of upper harmonics, the ear hears them, the brain fills in the missing low notes - and the listener experiences low end when none is there.

Since the majority of power in an audio system is used by the low end, being able to increase the loudness of the bass without changing its power (loudness and power are different - loudness is subjective - see "dB" below) means more room for the rest of the signal. Music can be mastered louder, speakers don't get damaged by trying to reproduce notes below their range, and computer speakers, headphones, and car stereos sound bigger than they could possibly be.

It's more amazing ingenuity from the people at Waves. It's also a great example of the incredible power and gullibility of the ear/brain interface.

2006-04-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

WISHING YOU AN ENJOYABLE CHING MING

Tomorrow is the Ching Ming festival in Hong Kong and China. It's a public holiday so offices and factories will be closed (any email you send to Hong Kong today will probably not be answered until Thursday morning).

From one of my colleagues in Hong Kong comes this explanation of the festival:

Ching Ming (or Qingming), meaning "clear and bright", is the day for mourning the dead, a day for Chinese families to visit our ancestors' graves. It falls in early April every year and corresponds with the onset of warmer weather, the start of Spring, and of family outings. This is a one-day holiday in Hong Kong for the descendants to "sweep the graves" of their ancestors. It is not a solemn occasion, but rather, a time for happy communion with family members to show respect for our ancestors.

2006-04-03T17:25:00.000-04:00

THOSE DARNED dB's

Can anyone explain the dB (decibel) to me?

I've read page after page of definitions and descriptions. I understand it's a ratio of two values of power, and therefore has no unit (alright with the jokes). I also understand it's logarithmic, that dBSPL is used to measure the "loudness" of a sound, and that dBU is most commonly used by audio engineers.

What I can't seem to find is any consensus on change in the amount of dB's vs. loudness. Some texts claim that while 3dB is a doubling of power, 10dB is a doubling of loundess. Others say 6dB is twice as loud.

The problem is that while a dB is an absolute measurement of power, loundess is entirely subjective and depends on things like the frequency you're looking at and the sensitivity of various listeners. We essentially have to ask people to tell us when the sound seems twice as loud and then look at the dB's. But even if it's subjective, we should still have an average number of dB's that represent "twice as loud".

So what is it? Is it 6 or 10? Or something else?

2006-04-03T10:20:00.000-04:00

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME (NOTE THE LACK OF "S" AT THE END OF "SAVING")

I like the whole sun staying out until 9pm deal, but I want my hour back.

Mikedot and I are convinced that we've lost more than just 60 minutes. We were mixing Strikes Again! yesterday when we realized we were something like 2 hours and 22 minutes in the hole.

As of this morning I was short about 4 hours, and Mike lost a few more at some point last night. This isn't good.

If you've seen our hours, please leave a comment or forward them to us care of Smoke and Mirrors Brooklyn. They'll definitely come in handy.

2006-03-31T16:12:00.000-05:00

LIVE STRIKES!

In my ongoing effort to use this blog to help our good friends promote their shows, I offer this notice from Strikes Again!

"Hello! You last heard from us in early December, but we haven't been off hibernating since then. We spent the long winter months writing and recording material for Album #2, to be released, we are very proud to say, by Midriff Records. The full album is still developing, but
here's your first opportunity to see us perform some of what we've got so far:

Strikes Again!
at Sin-é (150 Attorney Street @ Stanton, NYC)
Saturday, April 8th
10pm
$10

In the meantime, visit www.myspace.com/strikesagainnyc to hear one of the new recordings: "Can't Stop Now," a live show staple.

Thanks for your support up to this point. We're damn excited to play our first show in four months, and we hope to see you at Sin-é.

Strikes Again!
- John, Mike, John, Jeff"

Go see them if you can. I've seen them live a few times and they're intense. Nice rock and roll, really heavy, stuff you can drink a beer to.

2006-03-31T15:41:00.000-05:00

(NEARLY) NATURAL SELECTION AT WORK

This is good.

Note to self: Do not do this.

2006-03-31T12:34:00.000-05:00

NEW RELEASE

The new Darvocets 12" is currently on sale...

I got my advance copy last night, clear green vinyl with images of crop circles:

George and I gave it a listen and it sounds great - just like vinyl. The packaging is really nice - it comes with a poster and the printing quality is very high. The clear vinyl's (glow in the dark!) already sold out but I expect more will be pressed...

I'm credited as "C Space" on this one, which makes sense since my middle name starts with an "S". I've gone by CSPACE on some old email addresses... and the studio is credited as "Smoke 'n Mirrors". This isn't the first time we've been credited this way... maybe we should change our name.

I'm happy to say I got Co-Producer and a performance credit (synths) in addition to the regular "Recorded By". This was recorded almost entirely live at Smoke and Mirrors; we only replaced 1 vocal track (all of the others were done live, in the room with the band). Main recording took place in 1 day with a second 1/2 day for the additional vocal. Mixed at Smoke and Mirrors and mastered by George over at Skyway.

My favorite tune is probably "Space Shuttle's Final Mission", although "Eyes Like Ants" is a killer (there's an mp3 of it on the Painkiller Website).

You can purchase it online from Painkiller Records here, or contact paulewog13@hotmail.com for information about ordering direct from the Darvocets.

Buy it! Buy lots of copies! Support your DIY musicians!

2006-03-28T17:27:00.000-05:00

UHHHH.....

There goes the neighborhood.

I am, once again, proud to be a Williamsburger.

2006-03-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT

Once again, the promise of nano.

2006-03-28T12:30:00.000-05:00

FINISH UP. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I'd like to say a few words about the Brain Shivers record "Santiago Love Songs".

The words are: "this record is not yet done."

I've taken some shit in the last few days for this project not being completed, and it's totally warranted. It's now nearly April and we have not yet released it.

Then again, we never released the Wall, and that took an enormous amount of time and effort.

This is starting to become a bit distressing to me. If "Santiago Love Songs" isn't finished by this weekend, I'm going to take the files as they are and release it myself, on my own label. It's very depressing to work on something and have it never see the light of day, and it's not going to continue.

At this point we're looking at one adjustment to the first track and finishing the artwork. The actual production of the record took a few years, and the fact that it's this close - and not done, as it languishes in essentially the same state it's been in for months - is disheartening. I give an enormous amount of my free time, very often without pay, to get other people's projects finished.

I'm not doing any more of it until this one is done. I will partake in no cover records, no solo records, no audio transfers, no side projects, no band rehearsals, no live shows, no nothing until Brain Shivers is sent to the pressing plant.

2006-03-27T13:01:00.000-05:00

FILM REVIEW - CHARLY

Last night I caught "Charly" on TCM. Never seen it before.

I've read the book "Flowers for Algernon" a number of times and always loved it. I was first introduced to Charlie Gordon and the genius mouse Algernon in the short story version of the tale (written in 1959 by Daniel Keyes, who in 1966 expanded the story into a novella), which was included in one of the literature anthologies we used in elementary or middle school. We didn't read it for class, but I found it and was fascinated.

If you don't know the story, it's pretty simple: retarded man undergoes experimental brain surgery that increases his intelligence to genius levels. He's thrown into a world he's not emotionally prepared for, falls in love with his teacher, rebels against his doctors, only to learn that the success of the surgery is temporary. He slips back into his former world.

As a novella it's a great read, told entirely in the first person, in the form of Charlie's (he initially misspells his own name, hence "Charly") journal entries. We get to see his progress through his writing, and it's downright heartbreaking when he begins to lose what he'd gained.

The film is classic 1968. Split screen effects, a wonderful "Charlie goes into the world, rides motorcycles, smokes reefer, and dances to bad music" acid-trip montage, a giant overemotive 60's soundtrack. There're some nice sequences of the smart Charlie being chased by his alter ego Charly that are pretty creepy. Cliff Robertson took home the Oscar for Best Actor, and he does a damned good job. He's utterly convincing as both the slow, happy Charly and the quick, angry Charlie.

Missing is all the psychological background in the book - Charlie's childhood memories, his relationships with his parents and sister, and his longing to improve. The bittersweet sadness of a man who just can't seem to see what everyone else sees is a powerful part of the book, while the love story becomes the central thread of the film. This allows us some nice soft-focus-lovers-frollicking-in-the-park bits, which isn't all bad. As Alice Kinnian, Charly's teacher and Charlie's lover, Claire Bloom even provides a thoroughly entertaining pseudo-British accent straight out of the 50's.

Good fun.

2006-03-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

MIXED UP

Saturday.

We arrive at Headgear Studios at noon to begin mixing "Hugo Magnolia" for House of Blondes. The first step is loading the project onto the studio's Mac; fairly easy.

Next is calibrating the 2 track tape machine. Not so easy.

Calibration involves sending test tones to the machine, recording them on tape, and playing them back. If the machine is calibrated correctly, the tones will come back at the same volume they were recorded. They don't. That's OK, since the machine has controls that allow it to be adjusted. So the assistant adjusts and we try again. Still no good. The high test tone (at 10000hz) is coming back louder.

Calibrate again. Still no improvement. Problems with the recording card? Call the tech...

He suggests adjusting the bias. Fine, done, run the calibration again. Still no good. Suggestion from the assistant that we may need to cancel the session. He claims the machine calibrated fine the night before.

Ugh. Calibrate again from scratch. No improvement. This process should take about a half hour, maybe 45 minutes, and now it's been 2 hours. More calls to the tech.

Finally we decide to try and calibrate the machine at 30 inches per second (ie with the tape moving across the record heads twice as quickly; we'd been calibrating at 15ips, the standard for rock n' roll). At 30ips the machine lines up. OK. Back down to 15ips to try again, still no good.

The decision is made to mix to the tape at 30ips. Re-calibrate the machine at 30ips, lay down the test tones, and move to the ProTools project. 3 1/2 hours gone.

Now we're playing back the project and I'm hearing distortion on drums. We check everything, start bringing up other tracks, and realize the audio is not playing back at the correct speed. So we have digital clocking problems.

Start trying to diagnose the clock. No one seems to know how the clock is set up in this studio, but it's obvious the project is not playing back correctly. We disconnect one synch box, try synching to another. Without proper synch digital is worthless.

Call the tech. It's 4:30, and we haven't gotten very far...

John from House of Blondes (singer, writer, guy paying for session) arrives. He and I go out to get beer and chips. When we come back things haven't improved. I suggest opening the session setup (I don't know much about ProTools but I know it's possible for different sessions to have different preferences). We get the tech on the phone and start going through the switches...

At some point the clock resolves and the audio starts playing normally. I don't remember when or how (things are getting hazy). It's now something like 6:30 or 7 and we're hearing our tracks back through the board for the first time. I get a quick lesson on the board's automation from the assistant, who has to leave at 8 for a gig in Hoboken. Flying faders are cool. So is DOS, the OS running the program that moves the faders...

By around 8 we're building a rough mix. Now we get to play with the toys! Geoff Daking EQ's and compressors, Manley compressors, Eventide harmonizers, a Distressor, and of course the EMT plate (about as big as a queen sized bed) start making their presence heard. The plate sounds amazing. The compressors are damed good. The Trident's EQ's are pretty nice as well. Mixing with moving faders is a dream, super quick. There are 3(!) echoplexes in the room but we don't use any of them. There isn't enough time.

We get the automation running, record the faders for the rough mix, and start playing back the track and making adjustments. In analog everyone can hear you scream. John does some vocal rides and says the moving faders "feel like there's a ghost moving them". They twitch under my fingers, or are my fingers twitching?

We need to be printing to 2 track tape by midnight; our session is over at 1am (we've been graciously given an extra hour to make up for the 4 we lost earlier). We'll have time and tape to run maybe 4-5 mixes. After number 2 or 3 the tape breaks during rewind. George pulls out a razor blade and cuts out the fucked up portion. Run the mix again. Again.

By 1:15 it's all over. We listen to playback while recording the 2 track mixes into ProTools so we can hear them back at our studios and make a rough master for House of Blondes. We're back at Skyway studio by about 2, listening to the mix, which sounds fucking great. The vocal may be pushing the tape into distortion at times, but the sense of space and depth is notably different. We compare the new mix to the ProTools mixes George has been working on and there's no comparison.

We'll be back, I think. We definitely left a part of ourselves there.

2006-03-24T16:00:00.000-05:00

I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD

Good news for Mikedot (and me).

2006-03-24T12:26:00.000-05:00

WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND

Mixing it up this weekend...

Tonight Strikes Again! comes to Smoke and Mirrors (all 4 members - a first? maybe a second) to finish mixing their 5 song demo (Working title - "It's Not An EP"). When I say "finish" I mean get the songs to the point where our mixes may be finals... we'll listen in our various environments over the next few days and decide if they really are done. If so, cool. If not, cool. We'll tweak and go again.

I anticipate some loud music and possible imbibing. I, of course, will remain completely in control. After all, mixing a song is like flying a plane. I base this on my extensive piloting experience.

Basically, I try to keep my eyes on the dials, keep us level, and make tiny adjustments to maintain balance. If I stall, I point the nose down, and I always make sure I have enough space between me and the ground to recover (thanks Dave).

We'll have air sickness bags on hand.

Tomorrow... more mixing.

George, Ted, and I will be heading over to Headgear in Williamsburg to run an analog mix of "Hugo Magnolia" for the upcoming House of Blondes record. At some point George was able to convice lead singer John Blonde that running the ProTools session through an analog board and mixing to tape would benefit the sound immensely. They ended up booking Headgear, and we'll mix through their Trident 80C console to 1/2" tape (moving at 15ips - that's "inches per second" - the prefered speed for rock).

I'm excited about the session. The board's got flying fader automation, and the idea of mixing to tape has enormous appeal for me. Unlike mixing in ProTools at Skyway Studio (George's space), you can adjust levels on more than one track at a time. This seems so simple that it's hard to believe that it's been lost more and more as people mix in computers. Unless you have a dedicated control surface, ie a bank of faders connected to the computer, you're forced to use your mouse to do one thing at a time. Not the way it used to be done, not the way it was meant to be, and not the way we'll be doing it tomorrow.

Headgear has an actual EMT plate reverb. For those that don't know what that is, it's the weird looking box in the upper left hand picture on this page. This is one way they used to do reverb. It's heavy and very cool, and it certainly ain't digital.

Will the mix be better on analog? As I said to George, Mike, Ted, and John, we know it'll be different.

2006-03-23T12:20:00.000-05:00

A SAD STORY

This old guy has passed away.

Seems liver failure killed him. Guess he should have quit drinking at 200.

2006-03-22T11:29:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S IN A MIX?

Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo, talking about the band's debut record on his infrequently updated blog:

"I remember thinking that we had totally botched it—the guitars were too loud, the drums were too dry, the vocals were too low, and the energy of our live show had completely avoided being captured in the studio."

The album has sold over 3 million copies.

2006-03-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

CARRY ON ONLY, PLEASE

Holy shit.

2006-03-21T09:22:00.000-05:00

I'M SORRY DAVE, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT

When I head over to Misanthrope Blog, I get a blank, black page.

While this is certainly appropriate, I am worried that Dave's corner of the blogsphere is damaged.

Kindly click and let us know if its working...

2006-03-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

WHEREIN WE OFFER A DEFINITION

Interesting question in one of the comments on "Capitalism At Its Best" below. The Misanthrope asks if this is really a symptom of capitalism, or a symptom of human nature.

I'm not sure it's an either/or thing.

Anyhow, for the purpose of this blog, I will consider it a symptom of capitalism when a group of humans, acting together as a business entity with the purpose of making money, acts malevolently* toward another group of humans. When I come across stories about such occurrences, I will talk about them here as part of the new, exciting feature sarcastically entitled "Capitalism At Its Best".

Enjoy!

* obviously, what is really malevolent is open to interpretation. I'll do my best to keep things in perspective. Giving contaminated water to our troops... evil.

2006-03-20T10:53:00.000-05:00

FYI

Although I don't really care (I'd rather eat ground glass than run Windows), I know others will be interested in this:

Confirmed - XP on the Mac

2006-03-17T12:30:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? aka CAPITALISM AT ITS BEST: PART 1

UPDATE: WITH A NEW, IMPROVED LINK.

I have no problem with this.

I'm sure they saved some money. Isn't that a corporation's obligation to its shareholders?

2006-03-17T11:29:00.000-05:00

A PICTURE'S WORTH...

From either the "Permanent Waves" or "Moving Pictures" sessions at LeStudio, Morin Heights, Quebec.

Note the overhead mics. Certainly small diaphragm... are they even condensors?

2006-03-16T16:10:00.000-05:00

GOOD BOY!

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A San Diego arena was evacuated for about two hours on Thursday, delaying a first-round game in the hugely popular national college basketball championship, after a hot dog cart attracted the attention of a bomb-sniffing dog.

Not really that surprising. Buck once grabbed an entire sausage out of a woman's hand as he was walking up Nassau Avenue in Greenpoint.

2006-03-15T13:32:00.000-05:00

FOLLOWING JACKSON'S LEAD, I LINK TO HUE

Hue B. Mooksuki is a Minnesotan, a hockey fan, a blogger, a musician, a husband, and a father. Not in that order.

There's some pretty remarkable stuff on his blog today - this post, which questions George W. Bush's motives for appearing with young Jason McElwain. Hue's not a big GW fan, and he's got his own reasons.

He links to some stories about autism and pharmacueticals that are downright sobering and more than a bit frightening. I think Hue is pretty level headed and thoughtful about this stuff (after all, he only says that he thinks there should be more research); I haven't seen him slam on big business or be quite as dogmatic as some of us (OK, me).

Read his blog, often. And remember that next month is autism awareness month. Try to do something to help if you can.

2006-03-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

FOR JACKSON...

...who mentioned Johnny Rotten's message to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on his blog.

Here's the offical statement from his website.

Now THAT'S punk rock.

2006-03-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

YEAH, UH, SURE

Another example of how there really aren't any bugbears involved in war profiteering.

2006-03-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

HERE IN MY CAR

Turns out that a number of congressmen are using taxpayer money to pay for leases on their SUV's and luxury cars. And as (giddily) reported by the New York Post, two of the most expensive leases are held by New York Democrats - Reps. Charles Rangel and Gregory Meeks, of Harlem and Brooklyn, respectively.

The most expensive ride is leased by Rep. Mike Ross, D-Ark, whose Ford Expedition costs taxpayers $1,248.31 a month (that shit better be pimped out). What the hell is a Democrat doing driving a $1200 a month SUV around Arkansas? In close second is Rep. Howard P. "Buck" McKeon, R-Calif, whose Acura is $1,231.51 a month, followed by Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, whose Lincoln costs a cool $1,078.21. Rangel and Meeks round out the top five.

Leave it to failed NYC Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner (D-Queens) to have the cheapest taxpayer paid ride - a $219 a month Chevy Impala (sweet). Hope he doesn't get in a wreck with Mike Ross. An Expedition will roll right over an Impala.

Four New York area representatives do not use taxpayer funds to pay for their cars - and three of them are Democrats.

Personally, I think these public servants, Democrats and Republicans alike, should all be taking public transportation or carpooling (Mike Ross oughta have room in that Expedition for at least one Kennedy, and even Anthony Weiner's Impala can carry three passengers plus the driver). A grand a month for your congressman to cruise around in his Lincoln... sounds like someone may be out of touch.

2006-03-13T09:56:00.000-05:00

UPDATES

Kind of a mixed weekend.

Friday I was in a daze - too many germs, too little sleep, too few vitamins. Bumping into things at work. By the end of the day I was a zombie, so I went home and slept.

Unfortunately, there was supposed to be a mix session with Strikes Again! on Friday. We were going to dive into the Hell Disaster, the perfect ending to the week.

There's nothing I hate more than cancelling a session. I'm usually just as excited as the client to crank up the speakers and see what's happening. The rush when a mix first starts to come together is a good one, not often equaled. So you know I ain't feeling right when I actually postpone a session.

Slept in Saturday, then spent a few hours at the studio trying to make up for lost time. Ted had actually taken a look at "Hell Disaster" the night before, and we got it ready for the actual mix. After a while my head was stuffed and my ears' frequency response was shot (remember, we monitor loud to counteract the equal loudness curve), so I called it a night.

Slept in Sunday (starting to see a pattern here) before walking the dogs (two of them in the house this weekend, Buck and his friend Lola, the 98 pound Rottweiler). Headed to the studio, met Machold, and threw down some quick drums on Ted's tune "Virginia".

I've begun to question the large diaphragm condensors for recording overheads. In the past, when we used small diaphragms (the AT4031's), I felt like the localization of the drums and cymbals was really clear... this cymbal here, that cymbal there. But with the large diaphragm's (the Studio Projects C1's) I'm starting to feel like there are two "clouds" on the left and right that overlap haphazardly. Sometimes the cymbals seem smeared across the whole stereo field...

After we did the "Virginia" drums we moved on to recording drums for one of the last 2 songs on George's upcoming "Robot" record. After making some mic position adjustments, George was happy with the sound of the overheads (go figure) and we got a couple of really good takes. Around 20 songs down, 1 to go, and the drums will be completely recorded. Many of them still need to be editted, and then the real work begins...

Expect that record in a year or two.

2006-03-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

CLEAR VINYL, COLORED VINYL

There's been some chit chat about vinyl over at Savage Distortion (not a surprise) and we've been discussing whether colored vinyl and picture disks sound inferior to good old fashioned black vinyl.

Picture disks are different from other records (and colored vinyl) - they are simply two pieces of clear vinyl with a printed sheet in between.

Here's an interesting post by Richard Feirstein I found on SH Forums:

"One job I had in the mid to late 60's, during vacation breaks, was working in a quality control lab at a Brooklyn, NY firm that made vinyl products. They invented grass tex (artificial turf for sports), and coated vinyl used in shades!

I learned that one essential additive in vinyl for disks is carbon black. Others are anti-UV compounds, lubricants for production under heat, filles and plasticisers. A great compromise has to be made, or far more expensive additives have to be selected, if a clear enough product is desired by the customer. Can you make a good sound quality vinyl disk clear enough for a picture; sure - but it would cost you since you leave out the carbon black and many additives, and use more vinyl and less filler."

In many cases these extra costs were too great, so the quality of the vinyl was compromised for the sake of the picture - many of these, after all, were meant more as promotional items. In picture disks, the vinyl itself is also thinner, so the grooves aren't as deep - once again, lower quality sound. Indeed, picture disks released by Capitol Records often had a disclaimer which explained that the sound quality of these records was not up to the usual standards.

I expect that my copy of Luna's "The Days of Our Nights" on white vinyl sounds bad because there is less (or no) carbon black. It's also not very heavy vinyl, which doesn't help.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that colored vinyl also doesn't sound as good, and many people flat out claim that colored vinyl is compromised. One explanation I've seen several times is that the coloring process - which means putting additives (and impurities) in the vinylite - tends to harden it, degrading its response and shortening its life.

The consensus seems to be that the blacker the record, the better it will sound. So save your picture disks and colored vinyl for collecting, and get that heavyweight, jet black virgin shit for the serious listening.

And don't forget - a well cut piece of vinyl can reproduce more bass than a CD.

2006-03-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

THE DROIDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR...

...is the name of a new band I'm starting.

It will be a good time Rock and Roll band, with lots of songs about Star Wars, beer, and cars. The songs will be easy. The Star Wars songs will have no references to the "Prequels."

I plan on playing guitar and singing, and I'm looking for a second guitarist (or keyboardist), bassist, and drummer.

All interested parties can comment here or email me at smokeandmirrors3@hotmail.com

This band is going to be big, and someday you'll wish you were one of THE DROIDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

2006-03-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

MAYBE THE MUSIC DROVE HIM CRAZY

Yanni's in trouble.

2006-03-06T15:58:00.000-05:00

NOT SURPRISING

A nice email from the founders of Podblaze.com, informing me that the free ride is over....

"Hello Podblaze Free Member,

We regret to inform you that we will be deleting all the
free accounts effective this Friday, March 10, 2006. We
have not made this decision lightly.

But the staggering cost of providing bandwidth has kept us
operating at a significant loss for several months now.

If you wish to continue podcasting with Podblaze, please
login to your account and upgrade to at least the $14.95
per month level. Upgrading will remove you from the list
of accounts to be deleted.

It was our sincere hope from the beginning that we could
offset our costs through selling advertising on the site.
However, that support has not been sufficient to keep us
in business.

We hope you have enjoyed using our service decide to stay
with us. But if you can't afford to stay, we understand.

Sincerely,
Rodney Rumford & Steve Humphrey
Founders of Podblaze.com"

Well, Rodney and Steve, I'll think about it. I do like Podblaze, and the paid service (like the one for the "Smoke and Mirrors" podcasts) is pretty good.

But, once again, it's an example of the people generating the content who are also paying for it to be made available. This happened with mp3.com as well. One day, after 2 years of paying around $30 a month to have our music online and available for download, POOF!

It was all gone.

2006-03-06T12:02:00.000-05:00

CHRISPY'S ACADEMY AWARDS COVERAGE

...zzz...

2006-02-14T13:42:00.000-05:00

SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS.

So this will be my last post.

I've decided to close the door to the Room With No Windows.

Blogging takes up time that I should be spending on the things that are really important. And as much fun as it's been, it's time to move on.

Thanks for reading these little tidbits.

Off to the next world!

2006-02-14T12:29:00.000-05:00

THE NAME GAME

Ted has suggested that my memory of the naming of "Smoke and Mirrors" may not be correct.

I recall us working on some kind of project, using digital editing, and telling a client that what we were doing was all "smoke and mirrors." We used this phrase more than once in the early days.

I then recall going home and a little light bulb going off. It would be a perfect name for the studio, which didn't have a name.

I also have vague memories of suggesting it to Ted.

Now, this could all be incorrect. The human memory is notoriously bad, and considering the kind of altered states Ted and I might have been in at the time, it's entirely possible that I'm remembering it all incorrectly. Perhaps we came up with it together. Perhaps it was Ted.

I certainly didn't mean to imply that the idea was all mine. We were definitely both using the phrase in reference to our work, and at some point the phrase became the name. Smoke and Mirrors = us, and we = Smoke and Mirrors.

2006-02-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

SMOKE AND MIRRORS, PART 1

Last night we recorded the penultimate tracks for the Strikes Again! demo/EP/record thingy. That is, we have the vocals for every song except one, "Hell Disaster," which won't be recorded so much as birthed like an Alien breaking through the Sternum of the Studio.

We spent a bit of time comping the vocals. For those who haven't spent time making modern music with machinery*, this means we recorded several takes of each vocal and edited together final takes from bits and piece of each. In the old days this would require putting takes on different tracks, learning where the good parts are, and playing back the song while whipping the various faders up and down as you record the output of these tracks onto another track. The result is a "comp" or composite track.

Nowadays digital audio software lets you put various takes on a single track and select which you want to hear. So we listen to take 7, for instance, and mark down which lines are good. Same with take 8, 9, 10.... 25, 26, 27.... etc. At the end we create another take and copy in the lines we like. Sometimes lines don't quite match each other, or the edits between them need to be "massaged" a bit, and this is where the fun comes in.

Occasionally an edit will just be too clean. Last night we had recorded two lines - which would end up back to back - as separate bits. When we cut them together something just didn't feel right. We thought perhaps the second line was coming in too quickly, but then realized that the problem was a little deeper. Listening back you'd subconsciously realize that the space between the lines was too clean, that it couldn't really be sung that way live - there needed to be a breath or some kind of slurring of the words between the lines.

We simply went to an earlier take, where we hadn't recorded the lines separately, took the little section where the first line ended and the next began, and edited it in. It was less than a second of audio but it sold the edit.

This kind of problem solving is a blast to me. I love creating the illusion that nothing was created, that it all happened exactly as you're hearing it. It's like special effects in film (or just old fashioned good acting) where you don't question the reality, you just accept it.

I enjoy this kind of thing so much that a few years ago I suggested the name "Smoke and Mirrors" for the studio. It stuck.

* Rush reference

2006-02-13T15:53:00.000-05:00

GIMME SOME MONEY

Ah, nothing says rock and roll quite like a big old bag of money.

Here they are - the top earners of 2005. This list doesn't include money earned on royalties or from endorsement deals.

#10 - Elton John, $66 million. This motherfucker didn't even record a new album. Made some of this cash in Vegas.

#9 - Dave Matthews Band, $74 million. Who knew hippies had this much cash in their sofas?

#8 - 50 Cent, $79 million. No comment.

#7 - Celine Dion, $81 million. Not bad for someone who's "retired." Almost all of this money was earned through performances at Caesar's in Vegas.

#6 - Paul McCartney, $83 million. Why is it that only the good Beatles had to die?

#5 - The Eagles, $84 million. One of the worst bands ever, in the history of the world. The fact that these guys can make $84 million last year is a testament to the absolute irrelevance of every musician on this list.

#4 - Green Day, $99 million. Somehow they managed to use the corporate rock structure to rail against the corporate structure, to the tune of nearly 100 million bucks. Truly remarkable, not very punk.

#3 - Kenny Chesney, $110 million. Who the hell even knows who this guy is? He was married to Renee Zellwegger for, like, 15 minutes.

#2 - U2, $150 million. The second biggest whores in the music biz. I do like their music, up through "Zooropa." Sold their souls to Apple. Not much left musically.

#1 - The Rolling Stones, $168 million. The biggest whores in the biz. Haven't been musically relevant since the early 80's, but still pull in the big bucks, despite mediocre musicianship and a style that hasn't changed in nearly 30 years. The biggest piece of evidence that the music business has nothing to do with music and everything to do with the corporate structure; there is no one more corporate than the Stones. Somehow they manage to convince their fans that this is really "rock and roll."

When you're charging $100 a piece for tickets to your show, it's easy to rack up numbers like this. Fortunately, as we all know, there's still plenty of room in the music business for smaller acts to be nurtured and encouraged.*

* sarcasm

2006-02-13T13:39:00.000-05:00

CHRISPY'S OLYMPICS COVERAGE, PART TWO

Doesn't it suck when the stars don't shine?

Michelle Kwan is out of the Olympics, victim of a groin injury.

NBC is so desperate to keep her involved that they ran a "Tribute to Michelle Kwan" last night and offered her a job as an analyst. (She turned the offer down.)

A Tribute? She's one of the most decorated figure skaters ever, sure, but she's never won the gold. Why should she get a tribute during the Olympics? It's not like she died. She has a groin injury, arguably the funniest of all injuries.

And that Apolo Ohno. His face is leering at me from phonebooths up and down 5th Ave, but he nearly fell on his butt trying a risky pass in the 1500m short track. The pass was ill advised, but so is his soul patch.

I love how casual speed skaters look. They move in almost perfect synchronization, arms clasped behind their backs, like a line of ducklings. Really fast ducklings, in spandex.

2006-02-13T10:16:00.000-05:00

CHRISPY'S OLYMPICS COVERAGE

Today I will start with... snowboarding.

Snowboarding is not a sport. It should not be in the Olympics. According to my standards (the only ones that matter, since this is my Olympics coverage), any activity that is featured in the "X Games" cannot also be in the Olympics. Sorry. It's one or the other.

If you say it's a sport, here's my response:

What are the rules?

What are the rules of snowboarding? It's like skateboarding (also not a sport). There are no rules for skateboarding, you just get on your skateboard, attempt to flip it over, and (unless you're a professional) fail. Then you pick up your skateboard and try, then fail, again. That's not a sport, it's a passtime.

There are some equally questionable "sports" in the Olympics, but at least these have been around for a while, so we'll grandfather clause them in. Luge... OK. You're in, because you've been around longer than MTV, and there's never been a Moutain Dew commercial with a bunch of Lugists. Street luge, maybe, but that's DEFINITELY not a sport.

How do you win at snowboarding? You don't.

Hey - the Americans swept the snowboarding medals at the last winter games!! Of course they did. If you make up the tricks and then get scored based on them, you'll probably win. It would be like if Olympic basketball were scored based on the quality of the dunks. You'd expect the Jordans would clean up in that one.

Watching 5 minutes of Olympic snowboarding is like sniffing glue without getting high. You just feel your neurons atrophy*. What the hell are the announcers saying?

If snowboarding's in, than you better put skateboarding and surfing in too. Bungee jumping and Ultimate Frisbee and taping Dead Shows as well. Then you can just show the Olympics on MTV and ESPN2 and be done with it.

* atrophy - to waste away or decrease in size