CIVIC DUTY

The average poll worker is 72 years old.

"I don't want to sound crass, but poll workers are passing on," said Michael Sciortino, president of the Ohio Association of Election Officials and director of the Mahoning County Board of Elections.

There is a shortage of 500,000 poll workers across the country. New York City is one of the areas officials are most concerned about, but many urban centers are short.

How many people for whom this is "the most important election of our lifetimes" will be volunteering on Tuesday?

Let's crunch the numbers.....

500,000 protestors descended on New York City during the Republican National Convention

The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (the ONLY scientific organization probing the bigfoot/sasquatch mystery) estimates that there are 2000-6000 bigfoots in North America

There are approximately 500,000 "historical wargamers" in the world

Estimates of the number of Muslims in North America range from a little over one million adults to seven million adults and children

There are probably about 15,000-25,000 orangutans in the world (at least they'e doing better than the bigfoots)

There are 1.4 million people in the US military

There are approximately 1 million lawyers in the US

50,000 people tried out for the last version of "American Idol."

I don't pretend to know what any of this is supposed to mean. I guess I'm just saying that we need more organgutans, bigfoots, and poll workers.