SCREW HIM

Russell Crowe, star of such films as "Master and Commander Blah Blah Blah" (or as Jackson likes to call it, "Fightin' Round the World!") and some others, is still on the hook for criminal assault charges following his little tantrum at the Mercer Hotel here in NYC - despite reports that he's offered to pay his victim 11 million dollars.

In case you forgot, Mr. Crowe was so angry that he could not get a line to Australia that he threw a phone at hotel clerk Nestor Estrada. Even if Estrada accepts the money and refuses to press charges, Crowe may still be prosecuted by the Manhattan DA's office, much like they pursued P. Diddy and Jay-Z for assault after their victims were paid off and refused to aid in the investigations.

This, to me, is great. What could be better than Crowe ponying up $11 million, then still getting hit with a felony conviction that keeps him from working in the US?

Guess what, Russell. You're an immature, spoiled little boy in a rich movie star's body. Why don't you come out to Brooklyn and throw a phone at me? I could really use the cash.