JUST A LITTLE BIT SAFER

Since there's been a little trouble in the London Underground lately, police in New York City have been ordered to start randomly checking subway riders' backpacks. They will be checked at the entrance; if you refuse, you will be asked to leave the subway. No word yet on how this applies to briefcases, purses, or garbage bags filled with stinky clothes (homeless people reading this blog - take note). Yes, anything found in your backpack is fair game as far as arrest goes. So don't be carrying anything around you wouldn't want the NYPD, the FBI, the CIA, and your mother to see.

Will this system work? Well, there ain't enough cops to check everyone, so presumably there will be some kind of profiling going on. The police have assured us that it will not be "racial profiling," but the kinder, gentler "criminal profiling." So you're OK, as long as you don't look like a criminal.