THE GREATEST, PART THREE

The greatest guitar ever, don't even get me started, is the Fender Telecaster. There is simply nothing even close, no argument, no discussion necessary, talk to the hand.

The Tele (as it's also known, just one if the reasons it's the best) was the first mass produced electric, and has been selling virtually unchanged for nearly 60 years. 60 years! That's a long time, and teles are great. Leo Fender got it right the first time.

Keith Richards has played some Teles, as has David Gilmour. Gilmour also owns some Esquires, essentially single pickup Teles, which is yet another vote in their favor. He also owns at least one Broadcaster, the original name of the Tele, which was changed when Gretsch reminded Fender that the name "Broadkaster" was being used for one of their drum kits. Gilmour doesn't own any "Broadkaster" drum kits (as far as I know), but he did use a Tele on the rhythm track for "Run Like Hell," so there you go.

The Tele is nice and light, much easier to hold for a while than a Les Paul. But it's a good solid piece of wood that could definitely hurt someone if swung, yet another reason it rules. I never feel unsafe when I've got my Tele. Go ahead, give me shit, I'll whack yah with it and it won't even go out of tune.

There's a suprising amount of tonal variation possible with a Tele. I feel like I can a much wider variety out of a good Tele than even a good Strat, which seems counterintuitive, since it's got one less pickup. But hey, sue me, it's how I feel. Teles are the best, as good as all git out, the bees knees (see "Bees" below).

They were designed for mass production, a great early example of this in action. The necks were built to be easy to replace, everything was modular. These are "workin' man's" guitars, and they KICK BUTT.

A blonde tele with some grain showing, a maple neck, and a black pickguard is a thing of beauty. The more used, the more "careworn," the more gorgeous.

Tele's didn't originally come with whammy bars, 'cause they didn't need them to be cool.

Tele's were (some still are) shipped with bridge covers, commonly called "ashtrays," because they were often removed and used as, well, ashtrays. Any guitar that comes with an ashtray is The Best Guitar Ever. Did your BC Rich come with an ashtray? Hells no. The Tele includes an ashtray! Think about it.

"Telecasting" is the name of this blog.

Finally, the Tele is smarter than the average guitar.